Sunday, 26 August 2012

Fifty shades of what?

Hello Beautifuls.

*If you haven't read Fifty Shades and you are planning too, please don't read this blog post as it may contain some spoilers.*

Having heard about the hype surrounding the Fifty Shades trilogy, around six weeks ago I decided to give it a read myself. Downloading it to my kindle, I was pretty excited to give these books a read. Almost everyone I knew was saying how much they loved it, even the people that never usually read books were singing its praises. I also loved the price of it, at £1.90 something for the kindle version, it was a lot cheaper then what it had been selling for. 
As I settled down in bed that night with a nice cup of tea, I turned on my kindle and started to read. 

For me, it wasn't one of those books where I was completely hooked. When I read hunger games for the first time, I literally could not put my kindle down for five minutes. With fifty shades, I mainly just picked up my kindle when I was bored. The story line felt a bit ridiculous, Anastasia Steele, (main female character) just completely accepts how Christian Grey (main male character) treats her. Christian is an obsessive stalker, anyone in the real world would be receiving psychiatric help if they seriously behaved like that. He has ways of knowing where she is at all times, he finds out where she works, where she lives. I know E.L. James created this book because it was a fantasy of hers, but it would have made a better read if it was more realistic

In my opinion the books are poorly written, the sex scenes are repetitive and EVERYTIME they have sex James describes Christian opening the condom wrapper as "the tell tale tearing of the foil packet." It drives me nuts. Anastasia comes across as pretty much inhuman in the books, there never comes a time when she's just like "Christian, you've had you're wicked way too much, I'm sore. I want to sleep!" Instead, she's turned on 24/7, even just thinking of Christian Grey gets her inner goddess excited. 

“My inner goddess has her sequins on and is warming up to

dance the rumba. 
-E.L James, Fifty Shades Freed.

I would just love to know what the purpose of the inner goddess is in this story, I don't get it? Within five minutes, Ana goes from innocent virgin to complete sex addict, all with a little bit of help from her inner goddess. 
At the end of the first book, Ana leaves Christian for hitting her with a belt, but within months, as you read the beginning of the third book, they're married. Christian is violent and controlling, he seems to dismiss his behaviour to the fact that he was abused physically as a child, by his "Crack-whore mother and her boyfriend." 

Then there is Mrs Robinson, who is actually called Elena Lincoln, the woman who introduced Christian in to the world of BDSM when he was just FIFTEEN! Seriously? James could have made him older when this happened, instead of making one of her characters a paedophile. 

In every other page someone seems to smirk, or Ana starts biting her lip, rolling her eyes and sighing. Her vagina is described as her sex, it just doesn't sound right and I occasionally found my self replacing the word with something that made more sense to me. They always argue about the same thing, usually Ana not doing as she is asked, then they have this absolutely amazing make up sex. Ana never has a crap orgasm, she always "explodes around him" because he is the greatest lover in the world, clearly. I'm sure many women would be happy if they had their very own Mr. Grey, but it's just not real. 

I would watch the movie, but I don't think I'll be reading the books again. Maybe if I'm bored and on a long journey or something, but other then that they'll just be taking up memory in my kindle. I know I may sound harsh or bitchy, I don't mean to. There's just many things that bugged me about the books. It's my blog and my personal opinion, I know there are many people that are in love with the books, I'm just not one of them.

As the film goes, I will watch it, mainly to see how much of the story line they have actually kept. As for who should play Christian Grey, I don't know but I do think Ian Somerhalder is a great option for him. 

Ian Somerhalder.

Thanks for reading! 

Laters, baby.


  1. they really were so badly written!!
    and omg every time "Ana don't bite your lip you know what it does to me" that drove me nuts hahah xx

    1. I know, there's so much in the book that's just repeated. x

  2. See I was the opposite to you I couldn't put it down. I read the first book on the friday, second on the saturday and the third of the sunday. I originally read this book as a lot of people at work were talking about it and I couldn't just leave it I need to know more! I found myself bored of the sex scenes.. flipping through thinking "yep bla bla bla orgasm perfect sex bla bla bla" to find out what happened in their relationship. As a woman I found it so unrealistic and frustrating because no person is THAT responsive (and "my sex" drove me mental!). Anyone in this kind of relationship would be on Jeremy Kyle.. But it's actually the worse book ever written. All that said, I'm really looking forward to the film! Routing for Alexander Skarsgard and Lucy Hale. :)

    Hannah @ xo

    1. Completely agree Hannah, I wish it was written better. Jeremy would have a field day with Christian. :D I'm looking forward to the film, just to see how it's portrayed on screen.. Maybe it will be better then the book! :)

  3. I am planning on reading this book. :)) Btw, I awarded you with the Liebster award. Check out my blog.

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  7. I completely agree with all your comments on this series. To sum it up I'd say; poorly written and repetitive but somehow addictive.

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  9. Kristen Stewart has finally responded to rumors that she's a favorite to play Anastasia Steele